I failed... so I'm starting over

Today, I came to grips with the fact that I failed. My first attempt at a blog failed. I decided to finally delete it. I decided to start over. Just as I was about to click "delete", I thought again.
My (extremely abbreviated) internal dialogue went something like this,
"Wouldn't that be just like you, Trish. You didn't do it perfectly, so you decide to just get rid of it and start something new. That's just great! (My bitter sarcasm comes out most aggressively in my own self-judgment.) You're really good at abandoning ship when things get a little tricky, messy, and you're not the center of attention. (One little detail of life spiraled into extreme absolute generalizations about being horrible at life.) You could delete it. Or, you could try something else. "

So, long story short, I'm trying something new. I'm starting over. Except, I'm building on my own failure this time.
I'm keeping the same old blog name-- it's descriptive of me, my life, and my beliefs about each of our journeys.
I'm not deleting any old posts-- they were and are part of me.
I'm not expecting anyone to read-- this is as much for me as anyone else. I need to write. Although I am going to post these as Facebook notes as well.

BUT there is one thing. I've started something entirely new. It's called SEMINARY.
I'm hoping 3 things for this new attempt at a sharing of information via blog.
1) Share some of what I'm learning, reading, experiencing, growing into at Bangor Theological Seminary.
2) Share and comment on youth ministry experiences throughout New England Mission Center.
3) Examine my interest in "Calling" as a spiritual destiny through which we all either come to the Divine or avoid the Divine to varying degrees.

So, blessings to me as I pray I will do this understanding that writing is a necessary part of my own spiritual formation.
And blessings to you as I pray you will do whatever is necessary for your own spiritual well-being.

Joy, Hope, Love, and Peace-- that we all might share them.
Trish

Been to the Heart of the Country... now South to the Cape!

When I taught, my summer's were broken into the following categories of time.
1) Swimming lessons until the 4th of July.
2) Absolutely NOTHING. (July 3-mid August)
3) Excitement and Dread- teacher's, do you feel me?) for another school year (mid August until the moment school began).

My days were spent with little scheduling, really. Just spending as much time as possible with family and friends and myself.

Now, my summer is broken into these categories.
1) Pray!
2) Prep for summer... directing camps and chaperoning trips and teaching/leading at reunions. (end of spring-mid June)
3) Pray!
4) Look ahead to 7 weeks of ministry...
5) Pray!!! And take some nice easy breaths to relieve any anxiety felt.
6) Week 1... Jr. High/Sr. High Camp... pray!
7) Week 2... Jr. Camp... pray!
8) Week 3... Maine Reunion... pray!
9) Week 4... IYF in Independence... pray!
10) Week 5... Headed for Onset Campgrounds for Onset Reunion... pray!
11) Week 6... Plan for Jr. / Jr. High camp in Onset... pray!
12) Week 7... Camp Pastor at Onset Campgrounds... pray!
13) Where did that summer go??? ... Huge prayer of gratitude!

Is it just me that notices quite a change in my schedule? =]
I couldn't be happier!

I am in between # 9 and 10 right now... Cassy and I are finishing re-packing in Lexington, MA to head down to Onset, MA Reunion.

We just returned from IYF, International Youth Forum, in Independence.
Let's just say it was one of the most refreshing, invigorating, affirming experiences I have had in quite some time. I might go so far as to describe it as "defining" in my life/work/ministry.

Cassy and Christian were there. Check out signalkids.blogspot.com for updates and pictures coming soon from Cassy's perspective. Also, check out cofchrist.org/IYF for pictures.

We must have about 20 kids going in 2013. It's amazing! And we should have time to get that many by then... challenge, who's on board for that?

Excited for mid-summer reflection time, I am.

Peace and Hope to each and all, Trish

I am so thankful to have an assistant!

This morning, I am truly amazed. It is 9:33 am. Choice classes are beginning... origami (taught by my older sister, San!), volleyball, and cooking (taught by my Mom, graham cracker pie!)... and I have a spare moment to organize my thoughts about camp. This means that neither do I have a list 10 or 15 activities long nor am I "putting out fires" as they crop up.

But how can this be?

For the past full month, I have eaten, slept, prayed, thought about, and in all other ways shaped my life around camps and the summer camping season. This has mostly consisted of waking between 6 and 7, first thought on camp and what to do to be fully prepared. My original list was single spaced and 2 pages... if I don't write it down, it won't happen. Of course, there was lots of answering e-mails, phone calls, etc... making my list grow as I tried to make it shrink! Generally, sleep came between 11 pm and 1 am. I am thankful for the uplift of youth and prayer to get through a month of this as I generally require much more sleep.

Well, the list shrank as our first camp, Jr. High/Sr. High camp approached. That meant I was closer to ready for campers and staff to arrive. 4 trips to Camp Winni later, everything had been delivered, and I and the staff were ready for campers.

As the week progressed, I quickly realized that this camp would be an amazing blessing for my outlook on directing camps and "coordinating'' a youth program. I have to say that it truly was one of the funnest weeks of my entire 27 years. I laughed and smiled so much during this camp! BUT... sleep still seemed to elude me. Midnight, 1 am, 2 am to bed... 6 am to rise.

So, how, back in the midst of another camp, JUNIOR Camp, do I all of a sudden have a few spare moments to collect some thoughts. The answer is clear and can be described in two words.

Cassy Billings

The Youth Ministry Coordinator Summer Assistant... My Summer Assistant

I cannot tell you all how great she has been. Reporting for "duty" on night one, before campers, she appeared poised, mature, and ready to act. First question was, "What can I do to get started?" Next, "So, how can I help?" And that type of question has been repeated over and over again for the past 4 days. I speak, or we brainstorm together, and Cassy makes it happen. I am so thankful to have an assistant! And the opportunity for Cassy is pretty tremendous as well, I dare say.

My level of appreciation for Life, camp, God, Love, family, and friends is running extremely high.
Cassy rocks.

In the send-off of C.S.... God is Love.
Peace and Hope, Trish

Today, I was going to post...

Today, July 4th, I thought a lot about writing a post... My thoughts on camp, etc...
It's 11:11 am.
I'm deciding to go back to bed instead.

Peace and Hope! Trish

5 days until Camp...

5 days.
Just over 120 hours.
It feels surreal.
No problem, I thought. I can direct 2 camps, camp pastor another, teach Jr. High classes and run youth events at a couple of reunions with help (or assisting others as in Onset), travel out to Independence for IYF with 2 great high school students. I can do it.

Can I do it?

Well, I'll be honest, I'm nervous. I don't feel over-whelmed and that I can't do it. I just feel... well, like it's a big responsibility. Can I stay fresh, excited, engaging for all the kids I'll see? Can my mind and Spirit keep up with all that has to be done to run things smoothly? Can I stay in the attitude of prayer and humility throughout my days that will surely make the summer an amazing experience?

Lots to think about. I think I just won't think about it.
I'll try prayer.
You can try it, too.
For you, me, the youth, and our humanity living out divinity.

Peace and Hope, Trish

PS Each day, more campers sign up. I couldn't be more excited for this. God, friends, keep 'em comin'!

8 Days and Counting Down...

Camp Winniaugwamauk, our most precious and treasure campgrounds here in Maine will very soon be filled with campers, counselors, cooks, nurses, lifeguards, and tons and tons of GREAT ENERGY... the moving SPIRIT of God!!!

I, for one, am incredibly excited and honored to be a part of it all.

My prayer team must have been working over-time along with all the others who are praying and supporting the program because EVERY DAY more potential campers are in contact with me AND our staff is growing, too.

This morning, I am absolutely filled with gratitude for the potential of this summer... and for the reality of excitement that is building in our campers.

_______________________________

BIG NEWS!!! Jr. Camp is about to grow... We've decided to expand our age range from 3-5 grade to include 2nd graders as well. Now kids who have completed 2nd grade are invited as well. Please spread the word.

_______________________________

May God's spirit bring about the Purposes of our Creation.
Amen.

Wow! That was hard work.

So, today, we cleaned up the waterfront. Again.
Two weeks ago, we started.
Today, we continued.
Dave Long, who will be a summer hero should he do what he plans, will finish next weekend.

The waterfront at Camp Winniaugwamauk gets inundated each year with leaves and debris that blow ashore. Each year it is a large project to get it cleaned up and ready for camp. Imagine, then, what a job it is to clean it up if the job doesn't happen for a year... 2 years worth. How much would 3 years be?!?

Well, folks, we were facing more like 4 or 5 years worth. Each year the entry way to the water has gotten smaller and smaller. But this year, it's wide open! No more debris. Let me describe it this way... our water front is like Hulk Hogan's yellow shirt as he prepared to battle a wrestling foe. In recent years, it has been small openings to get to the larger lake... much like the little rips in Senor Hogan's shirt. But this year, it's all clear and ready for kids to tear in to that lake!... muck like the Hulk-Man himself, tearing that shirt right open in excitement for battle!

If that analogy makes any sense... awesome! If not, I've been shoveling and cleaning ALL DAY! and it's late... excuse my crazy brain.

Either way. Hard work, but GREAT people helping out.

I'm so excited for camps I'm just about to burst. I hope I don't... summer wouldn't be as much fun if I had to be duct taped back together.

More on camps soon.

Peace and Hope! Trish