I think emptiness: I feel reverence

My Introduction to Buddhism.
We were taught a simple meditation in our first class. We began class with a moment of silence. we meditated in class. We are to meditate a minimum of 5 minutes per day and journal about our experience. Thought there is much more to "do" for that class, too, I am learning to stop thinking for a few moments each day. I am learning to calm my left brain, my critic, my judge. I am learning to think emptiness... to cease thinking.

It's wonderful.

My Introduction to the New Testament
After one week of classes at Bangor Theological Seminary, my reverence for great writers, poets, painters, and photographers has grown leaps and bounds. Through images, words, and metaphors, these wonderful human beings live out the following:
1) Experience, in some way, the Divine Creator and that Creator's Interaction with Humanity.
2) Attempt to express the depth, fullness, and magnitude of that experience on the canvas of his/her artistic field... photo paper, the written page, cloth stretched over wood.
3) Find that experience is worth sharing with others.
4) Offer it.

When I think about that process, I am filled with appreciation and awe. After reading on my own and discussing in class the canonization of the collection of books we now refer to as the New Testament, I now regard these books with much more respect and appreciation than even one week ago. Our teacher, P. Shelburg offered us the following thought. New Testament authors wrote to offer to others a "distillation of a transcendental experience." They moved through the process I described above. New Testament authors experienced the Love of God and the impact living in Sacred Community has on one's life. They tried to find ways to express this to others. They tried the direct approach. They tried metaphors. They tried story-telling. They tried painting pictures in words. From the frail and meek vehicle of language, they attempted to share about the majesty and strength of Love.

After you've experienced the grandeur and impact of True Love, how can words possibly relate it?

And yet, they tried. I respect those effort. I hold them now in high regard. For all the foibles and follies of the Bible-- For all the catastrophes and excuses for abuse offered us in the Bible, I have found the gift of respecting it as a Living document to be read and utilized responsibly. I embrace the call to interpret it with all of the resources at my disposal AND bring to that interpretation my own experiences with the Love of God. I embrace the call to question the relevancy of the Bible in our lives, and if I find it to be meaningful and relevant, I embrace the call to share it.

Joy, Hope, Love, and Peace... that we all might share. ~Trish

Opening Convocation and a Wonderfully Needed Affirmation

Yesterday at noon, I attended the Opening Convocation of the 2010-2011 Bangor Theological Seminary school year.
Convocation, according to dictionary.com,
"a group of people gathered in answer to a summons; assembly."

Playing the prelude on a less than awe inspiring Casio keyboard was a little old woman. She feebly poked through the piece as if both the keyboard and the music were new to her. She connected the notes, mostly in the right time and mostly the right notes... at least that's how it sounded to my fairly adept yet musically untrained ears. It seemed like she was in a great rush to get through it. The sound was hurried and weak. I could hear the keys being touched as frequently as I heard the music of the keyboard singing throughout the room. Lest one might think this post is to bash on that little old lady, it it quite to the contrary. Here's what I Heard as she played.

I heard the footsteps of humanity, even me, rushing feebly about Creation. I heard the urge of us all to get from point A to point B, from appointment/class/day A to appointment/class/day B. I heard an attempt to do it right... to live our lives like we Should; the attempts are not just to force ourselves to do good, no! Yet, even those days when we find the best of ourselves having greeted God in prayer, meditation, and moments of recognition of the Sacredness of life itself, yes, even on those days at times there is striving. It is part of us. A part that must be diligently questioned, observed, loved, tended to, made to be honest with us. I heard, as this little old lady played, BLESS HER TODAY!, the reminder to let God catch me. I clearly heard the Source of all Wonder calling me to slow down and be caught and captivated by God and God's Spirit.

A couple times, I heard a chord played that was Perfection. Maybe 2 times in that whole long prelude. Interesting that though I heard such little Perfection, the entire offering of her ministry of music was such a blessing.

We were reminded by President Robert Ulery yesterday that the call to ministry is the call to a Very Hard Thing. (As an aside, if I can speak like him when this is over, every penny will have been well-spent!) He spoke to the biblical story of Elijah and Elishah, yet his point was a plea, a suggestion, an urge, a lovingly-offered gem of wisdom to us who would aspire to be ministers. "Tend to your own Spiritual Lives"

Grace and Peace to you, Bangor Theological Seminary. Thank you for the experience of affirmation yesterday telling me that yes, indeed, I am just where I need to be.

Joy, Hope, Love, and Peace... that we all might share. Trish

I failed... so I'm starting over

Today, I came to grips with the fact that I failed. My first attempt at a blog failed. I decided to finally delete it. I decided to start over. Just as I was about to click "delete", I thought again.
My (extremely abbreviated) internal dialogue went something like this,
"Wouldn't that be just like you, Trish. You didn't do it perfectly, so you decide to just get rid of it and start something new. That's just great! (My bitter sarcasm comes out most aggressively in my own self-judgment.) You're really good at abandoning ship when things get a little tricky, messy, and you're not the center of attention. (One little detail of life spiraled into extreme absolute generalizations about being horrible at life.) You could delete it. Or, you could try something else. "

So, long story short, I'm trying something new. I'm starting over. Except, I'm building on my own failure this time.
I'm keeping the same old blog name-- it's descriptive of me, my life, and my beliefs about each of our journeys.
I'm not deleting any old posts-- they were and are part of me.
I'm not expecting anyone to read-- this is as much for me as anyone else. I need to write. Although I am going to post these as Facebook notes as well.

BUT there is one thing. I've started something entirely new. It's called SEMINARY.
I'm hoping 3 things for this new attempt at a sharing of information via blog.
1) Share some of what I'm learning, reading, experiencing, growing into at Bangor Theological Seminary.
2) Share and comment on youth ministry experiences throughout New England Mission Center.
3) Examine my interest in "Calling" as a spiritual destiny through which we all either come to the Divine or avoid the Divine to varying degrees.

So, blessings to me as I pray I will do this understanding that writing is a necessary part of my own spiritual formation.
And blessings to you as I pray you will do whatever is necessary for your own spiritual well-being.

Joy, Hope, Love, and Peace-- that we all might share them.
Trish

Been to the Heart of the Country... now South to the Cape!

When I taught, my summer's were broken into the following categories of time.
1) Swimming lessons until the 4th of July.
2) Absolutely NOTHING. (July 3-mid August)
3) Excitement and Dread- teacher's, do you feel me?) for another school year (mid August until the moment school began).

My days were spent with little scheduling, really. Just spending as much time as possible with family and friends and myself.

Now, my summer is broken into these categories.
1) Pray!
2) Prep for summer... directing camps and chaperoning trips and teaching/leading at reunions. (end of spring-mid June)
3) Pray!
4) Look ahead to 7 weeks of ministry...
5) Pray!!! And take some nice easy breaths to relieve any anxiety felt.
6) Week 1... Jr. High/Sr. High Camp... pray!
7) Week 2... Jr. Camp... pray!
8) Week 3... Maine Reunion... pray!
9) Week 4... IYF in Independence... pray!
10) Week 5... Headed for Onset Campgrounds for Onset Reunion... pray!
11) Week 6... Plan for Jr. / Jr. High camp in Onset... pray!
12) Week 7... Camp Pastor at Onset Campgrounds... pray!
13) Where did that summer go??? ... Huge prayer of gratitude!

Is it just me that notices quite a change in my schedule? =]
I couldn't be happier!

I am in between # 9 and 10 right now... Cassy and I are finishing re-packing in Lexington, MA to head down to Onset, MA Reunion.

We just returned from IYF, International Youth Forum, in Independence.
Let's just say it was one of the most refreshing, invigorating, affirming experiences I have had in quite some time. I might go so far as to describe it as "defining" in my life/work/ministry.

Cassy and Christian were there. Check out signalkids.blogspot.com for updates and pictures coming soon from Cassy's perspective. Also, check out cofchrist.org/IYF for pictures.

We must have about 20 kids going in 2013. It's amazing! And we should have time to get that many by then... challenge, who's on board for that?

Excited for mid-summer reflection time, I am.

Peace and Hope to each and all, Trish

I am so thankful to have an assistant!

This morning, I am truly amazed. It is 9:33 am. Choice classes are beginning... origami (taught by my older sister, San!), volleyball, and cooking (taught by my Mom, graham cracker pie!)... and I have a spare moment to organize my thoughts about camp. This means that neither do I have a list 10 or 15 activities long nor am I "putting out fires" as they crop up.

But how can this be?

For the past full month, I have eaten, slept, prayed, thought about, and in all other ways shaped my life around camps and the summer camping season. This has mostly consisted of waking between 6 and 7, first thought on camp and what to do to be fully prepared. My original list was single spaced and 2 pages... if I don't write it down, it won't happen. Of course, there was lots of answering e-mails, phone calls, etc... making my list grow as I tried to make it shrink! Generally, sleep came between 11 pm and 1 am. I am thankful for the uplift of youth and prayer to get through a month of this as I generally require much more sleep.

Well, the list shrank as our first camp, Jr. High/Sr. High camp approached. That meant I was closer to ready for campers and staff to arrive. 4 trips to Camp Winni later, everything had been delivered, and I and the staff were ready for campers.

As the week progressed, I quickly realized that this camp would be an amazing blessing for my outlook on directing camps and "coordinating'' a youth program. I have to say that it truly was one of the funnest weeks of my entire 27 years. I laughed and smiled so much during this camp! BUT... sleep still seemed to elude me. Midnight, 1 am, 2 am to bed... 6 am to rise.

So, how, back in the midst of another camp, JUNIOR Camp, do I all of a sudden have a few spare moments to collect some thoughts. The answer is clear and can be described in two words.

Cassy Billings

The Youth Ministry Coordinator Summer Assistant... My Summer Assistant

I cannot tell you all how great she has been. Reporting for "duty" on night one, before campers, she appeared poised, mature, and ready to act. First question was, "What can I do to get started?" Next, "So, how can I help?" And that type of question has been repeated over and over again for the past 4 days. I speak, or we brainstorm together, and Cassy makes it happen. I am so thankful to have an assistant! And the opportunity for Cassy is pretty tremendous as well, I dare say.

My level of appreciation for Life, camp, God, Love, family, and friends is running extremely high.
Cassy rocks.

In the send-off of C.S.... God is Love.
Peace and Hope, Trish

Today, I was going to post...

Today, July 4th, I thought a lot about writing a post... My thoughts on camp, etc...
It's 11:11 am.
I'm deciding to go back to bed instead.

Peace and Hope! Trish

5 days until Camp...

5 days.
Just over 120 hours.
It feels surreal.
No problem, I thought. I can direct 2 camps, camp pastor another, teach Jr. High classes and run youth events at a couple of reunions with help (or assisting others as in Onset), travel out to Independence for IYF with 2 great high school students. I can do it.

Can I do it?

Well, I'll be honest, I'm nervous. I don't feel over-whelmed and that I can't do it. I just feel... well, like it's a big responsibility. Can I stay fresh, excited, engaging for all the kids I'll see? Can my mind and Spirit keep up with all that has to be done to run things smoothly? Can I stay in the attitude of prayer and humility throughout my days that will surely make the summer an amazing experience?

Lots to think about. I think I just won't think about it.
I'll try prayer.
You can try it, too.
For you, me, the youth, and our humanity living out divinity.

Peace and Hope, Trish

PS Each day, more campers sign up. I couldn't be more excited for this. God, friends, keep 'em comin'!