Perfectionists, Let's Just Stop it!, ok?!

In the first 18 years of my educational experience (K-12 and 2 degrees at UMaine), I received 3 grades that were under an A. In 3rd grade, I got an A- in science. It might have been 4th grade, actually. My freshman year of college, amidst volleyball and adjusting to college life, my grandmother ended up in the hospital fighting for her life. I got a B+ in a math class. My 4th year of college, I got another B+ in photography. My parents always said, "Just do the best you can." So, that's what we did.
I found it shocking that both of my interviewers for Seminary said, "From your transcript, I see you're a perfectionist. How are you going to juggle school, work, and life?" To which I responded, "well, I'm not that much of a perfectionist. It'll be a challenge, but I'll be fine."
I WAS WRONG! I really AM a perfectionist and it is way more challenging than I thought it would be to juggle all this.

So, today I say to all perfectionists, friends, youth that I work with and love, family, neighbors, "LET'S JUST STOP WITH ALL THE RIDICULOUS PERFECTIONISM!" Nothing is ever perfect.
And here's something I'm learning from my Buddhist friends... even if it is perfect, give it but a moment, it'll change. Then, we'll have to do 2 things. First, get all sad or angry that's it not perfect anymore. Second, strip all the enjoyment from our lives getting stressed out about making it perfect again. And here's the horrible (and wonderful) news. The cycle NEVER ends.

Grades... always more homework and tests.
Relationships... always things to disagree about, get annoyed with, & never enough time together
Work... some days, it's tough to get going, things just don't go as planned
Sports... someone is ALWAYS better than me/you, the shots don't fall, the body runs out of gas
Friends... you need a friend and there's no one; sometimes even your BEST friend lets you down
God... doesn't answer the prayer on my/your time table or the way we want it
House... dishes get dirty again, the lawn keeps growing, driveways gotta be plowed, laundry
Technology... do I even need to begin a list of how wrong things can go?!
And the list goes on and on and on.

Have I driven that point home enough? Here's the good news. I want to uphold hope for myself and all my perfectionist friends.

INTRO to Buddhism: We are learning...
The 4 Noble Truths: The foundation of buddhist thought
1) There is suffering. (It's the way of life, aging, sickness, death, impermanence)
2) There is a cause of suffering. (We want things to be different than they are. Some of us want perfection!)
3) There CAN BE AN END TO SUFFERING. !!!!
4) This is the way to the end... the Middle Way. (true speech, action, thought; true mindfulness, livelihood, awareness; true understanding, true concentration)

In other words, let's just accept that our perfectionism actually does not make us perfect, it makes us suffer. LET'S JUST STOP IT, ok?!

INTRO to New Testament: We are learning...
Everyone has the right to their own opinion and thought process. Everyone has the right to state what they believe and question what they hear and read. And, with regards to interpreting the Bible, sacred scripture that it is, NO ONE IS PERFECT. Some interpretations may be more accurate than others based on the resources used, But there is absolutely no hope of getting the 100% correct interpretation of any biblical story. Perfection as a goal is a futile and empty effort.

In short, today I spent my whole day worrying about how I was going to change my situation so it could be a little more perfect. Work, school, and relationship. And guess what? I ruined almost my whole day.

Perfectionists, loved ones, especially the youth that I know and love, let's do ourselves and favor and JUST STOP with the striving for perfection. Please.

Let's do what we can toward a good effort, then cut ourselves some slack. Maybe even meditate or pray to break the cycle. :)
Joy, Hope, Love, and Peace... that we all might share! Trish